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The ache





The ripple on the water from the breeze ever so slight, revealed the tiny encasing of broken leaf pods budding on the Crystal-clear pool of water. Without the breeze creating the ripples the buds would not be revealed. The breeze came at its own accord, unpredictable and unforced and behind it with the warm air it brought the excitement of spring. The ants busy working together in full cooperation cleaning out all the debris accumulated over the long cold winter. They seem to work tirelessly and the comings and goings of their daily life of work and toil, meeting every challenge as it arises.


Nature seems to work with intelligence and cooperation not for the one but for the many. The ground full of life and full of microbes give life to the roots of plants, which gives life to insects and the cycle goes on endlessly without any movement of thinking to the huge eucalyptus and pepper trees. Far in the distance you can hear the noise of a busy school yard. The chattering and laughter of children who come out of the same ground, that we all do and die into as life longs for itself. Fortunately, or unfortunately we educate them to give supreme importance to thinking and the things created by thought which kills all of their passion and zest for life. They are forced to conform and live in the external psychology world; their heart will be conditioned with the anxiety that technology imposes. Their hearts and mind will be filled with the things put together by thinking and they will completely lose touch with themselves and become so profoundly lonely! Our education system is so poor, it prioritizes knowledge, giving it supreme importance at the youngest ages. This movement is sustained by the pressure to conform, to fit in. It teaches us not to be alone! This creates a deep sense of loneliness, that every society generates. The need to conform and identify oneself with country, religion, cause, profession, person beliefs is our escape and leads us to desire through attachment, strengthening our isolation and despair. Not being able to handle the truth of our life, our own despair leads us to identify with our talents. The painter seeks escape from their loneliness through painting, the musician feeling no love, composes songs of love as a reaction to the lack of relationship. The writer feeling the pain existence, writes to express or find freedom. The athlete builds body and skill to accomplish, as means to acquire fame and to escape the drudgery of their travail existence. If not, we pick a role in society and our education, as a means to make as much money as we can and identify with all the things money brings; wealth, status, and the need to be envied. The cleverer person, the more sophisticated they are at their means of escape. We all want to be something and have special knowledge that separates us from everybody else. We do not see that the very act of wanting separation creates a deeper confusion through self-deception. Not being able to face our own delusion and self-importance, we want to be gurus, or have some kind of mystical powers. We actually think that we can manifest the good in our life and take claim for it and neglect everything bad and negative, as if we didn’t create that too. We want so much to be in touch with the universe or crave for some spiritual experience and being desperate for it, we control for perception, which is the demand of the ego mind. The ego self is always inventing or looking for an experience to prove to itself that it is making some kind of progress toward something deeper. This self-imposed movement, we run to all our friends to tell them about our personal experiences, in an attempt to influence them and seek conformation. We share, and we collude in Neuroticisms together as if we are competing with fishing stories. The ego mind stacks all these stories up, weighs them, becomes envious, or supportive, so their personal experience is not questioned our shattered by anyone. Wouldn’t a true spiritual experience, from the immensity of life beyond time and thought shatter us into our insignificance? Yet, renew our sense of being. Would not any attempt to conceptualize through thinking be next to impossible? We would be silent about things because we wouldn’t want to lead someone astray or burden someone else with our self-centred limited conclusion of what our thinking has done with and experience beyond thought. Don’t we do the opposite? Diluting our self by bending experience to our own whims and self-importance in the belief that we can manifest it, or we manifested it. We have grown so lazy and silly. Every time something great happens to us we make some quick accusations like some dead person is looking after us, some angel or the universe is giving us something because we deserved it. Why don’t we see the arrogance of this? That some divine force is providing us with all these great things and we are so blessed. The people who are being raised in poverty, little children dying of cancer, some young teenager who gets intoxicated and drives her vehicle into a tree and dies; the divine force of the universe is punishing him, what a crock of arrogance! These are the things we comfort ourselves with because we don’t want to see that we live a life completely immersed in our self-centred existence. Our own self-importance, thinking we could manifest this and manifest that. Why is it that when something in our life goes wrong, we get hurt or a tragedy like someone is killed by the drugs, or accidentally, someone we love gets cancer or we get cancer. Why do we say the universe is giving us this or I guess the angels decided to take a day off, it is all so silly!!! We really don’t want to face the pressure that we are so deeply conditioned and the need for us to change at the very foundation of our being is what we are here to do. We want to live a life of comfort and to be left alone, to hide the truth of our lives in the trivialities of our existence. We want to be envied, to be seen as smart, intelligent, famous, when the whole world is collapsing from the weight of the ignorance of our self-centred movement. Why are we dehydrated in ourselves? Is it that we have filled our minds and hearts with the things of thought and cling to those? Will human beings ever be able to set aside this external psychology that gives ourselves powers, we clearly do not have, then we retreat to live in the realm of hope, whenever life becomes too much to bare. There is a way out of this madness, and this way is first putting an end to all the things that thought and thinking have created as a means to become something. This ache of life is a reality created by thought, it is millions of years old. One must set aside drinking, drugs, and the clinging to one’s personal experience - the biggest drug of all! We must end religion; the saviours created by these religions and face the fact of our trivial dehydrated self-centred lives. Then perhaps we can come to a movement that is not the invention of our thinking. To be in contact with a movement that is unmeasurable, unfathomable is to be nothing. You cannot have one foot in external psychology created by thinking and the other in a movement beyond the inventions of thought. You cannot move towards another movement that is without borders or boundaries. When the borders and boundaries of thinking are removed the other movement is there. Then this ache dies into the movement of joy.


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