The dark clouds slowly rolling over the lake allowed the water to appear to be aqua blue in the setting sun. The breeze had changed many times as the storm approached and there was an eerie feeling of the strength of nature and what it was capable of. It rained quite intensely all evening and in the morning the earth was saturated and the corn in the field was glistening green at the top but midway down it told the story of wrinkled leaves to conserve water from drought. Walking the dogs this morning how green and fresh everything was. The rain had removed all the grime from the road and the dust that was scattered in the wind of the hot August sun. Now, again the whole world is so different changed because of water and its significance to the growth of everything. Everything in nature has its own movement that blends in harmony with the movement of everything else in nature. This strong interdependence does not allow for sorrow, façades, or any type of illusions. Why is it that humankind cannot see the illusions that we are caught in?
In order to see you are caught in an illusion one must be willing to inquire with great care and affection and a certain level of seriousness. It is the seriousness that is not brittle or sharp. It contains a joy that is purely serious yet inspirational. In this everlasting conflict that one is caught in, the everlasting dramas created by oneself or another. A person must be able to understand ones part in everything as the situation is playing out. People who are very unsatisfied in their relationships spend a lot of time complaining about their ailments. They do not want to have an insight into the very structure of control. Not being able to control or have control in the key relationships in their life they inflict themselves with aches and pains and work to control those. Fibromyalgia is one of these conditions. A person suffering with this condition auto immune in nature gives them self this condition to distract from what they are creating, or the brokenness of relationship in their life. If the person could find a way to get close to the people they want, without criticizing punishing or gilding the fibromyalgia it would disappear. Self is clever in its ways, it is always hiding the fact that it is the thing that is creating the broken relationships with its need to control and dominate others. You see the same things with alcoholics and addicts. They don’t create loving, caring, supportive relationships so they drink to cover up that pain. Often, they’re drinking or addiction leads to poor choices with the people that they want to be close to and they harm the relationships again because of their behaviour. When we don’t have need satisfying relationships, and we harm the people we’re trying to have them with, our addictions or drinking will increase our level of pain. So then alcohol or the drug is the chemical management to relieve the relationship pain and nothing is more painful than your inability to satisfy your need for loving and belonging. Therefore, we strengthen our dependence on alcohol and drugs and lose our sense of inner strength and resilience. We do not see through the illusion that the drinking or addiction is covering up the pain, or lack of relationship and the very thing that brings us relief from the pain harms again the relationships so importantly needed. We say we love our spouse or children, yet we obliterate ourselves with drinking or drugs and have forgotten how to be intimate and close with someone and nurture each other’s independence. With the amount of drinking and drugs that is happening in the world we educate our children to deal with their pain the same way we are setting them up for a broken life. You are your great grandparents; the pattern has been handed down to you and it is centuries old. The social lubricants of society Is the common denominator of how people spend their recreational time in this shared illusion, yet it goes unnoticed. They do not see that they haven’t in their life, solved one psychological problem. Their very drinking or addiction is the action they choose to cover up the pain of indolence in their life. Human beings will spend hours planning activities, exerting energy in the most extreme ways. But to examine their life and see their lack of relationship to their children, spouses, and the world around them soon becomes too much to bare and the distraction soon is not enough so they push for more and feed the appetite. The more you feed an appetite for anything the more the appetite grows, it is all consuming! The great machine, the body builds up a tolerance to these chemicals and therefore it takes more of the substance to get to that state or point of numbness. In the world we often hear of people who then get behind a vehicle and harm themselves or harm another, this we call a tragedy. But the tragedy happened much earlier, the example was set by their parents and all the social implications imposed upon from society at-large. If one listens to the conversation when people drink, the jokes, the criticism, and then of course the antagonisms do you see the intoxicated or the addict thinking they’re talking as a genius and the people around them hear them as gibberish idiots. Protected by the armour of the drink or drug nothing is taken to heart so that the drinking and drugs can be protected. The drug or the drink cover up the insufficiencies and inadequacies, so they will not be exposed.
To have insight a person must set aside everything that creates dependency and authority and face their life as they are.
Everyone is capable of living into their potential. But very few people are interested, they live in to the potential of the drug and alcohol companies. Or they live in the drug of the church, politics, philosophy, or the authority of their own beliefs and experiences. To have insight one cannot trust one’s personal experience or the experience of another because both are full of prejudice of the experiencer. Like the alcoholic who is in denial that their drinking is destroying their relationships! We do not see that our personal experience is full of our bias, we control for perception of ourselves and those around us to maintain a state of our own psychological security. For most people their psychological security is wrapped up in the drinking and the drugs or the authority of some stupid religion that only divides people and creates indifference in the world. We do not want to face the need to control another, so we build the illusion that controlling other people, gives us the feeling of power. We want to control and have power over others because we are so insufficient and inadequate in our lives.
We become the master of everyone else’s life by thinking we know what’s best for them and ramming it down their throat. Forcing them in a direction we want them to go, so we look more effective and efficient. Suppose you had a daughter, and she went away to university and she met a man and she brings him home for dinner. You ask her about this guy she doesn’t tell you very much but says he is wonderful, he’ll be a great provider but also allow me to have a career. He is a perfectionist and sometimes I feel he’s more into his work than he is to me. He’s very attractive mom and dad but there’s something about him I’m not sure of. He’s very confident and secure in himself but I’m not sure I want to marry him even though he has asked me several times. I kind of want to get your opinion. He is taking time out of your busy schedule, so we must make sure we leave by 9 o’clock, because he has to study.
At the dinner table you asked this man “what he does” and he replies, I am studying to be a surgeon I’m in my residency and I want to marry your daughter after we both graduate!
Now imagine how you feel, please be truthful. What would you truly feel?
Similar scenario, your daughter comes home from university and says the love of her life is coming to dinner. She tells you he is the kindest person she’s ever met. They’ve been seeing each other for about eight months and she’s head over heels in love.
When he shows up he’s in blue jeans and a T-shirt. You ask him what he does for a living, and he says he makes jewellery and sells it on the street. Your daughter pipes in and says his stuff is awesome he can’t make enough of it, it’s bought up so quickly. They wanted to drop the news on you as they have decided that they’re getting married.
This is a good view of your prejudice, look at it. See where you’re stuck.
See your lack of insight, right away you make an assumption that you know what’s best for your daughter. This is what people with no insight do, they think they know what’s best for another person. The other person rebels, disconnects and doesn’t want to have anything to do with you. You think they have created your misery because you’re just being a good parent. And that is utter BS! Insight is something that is so profoundly connecting and compassionate. It can’t be achieved or gathered. Insight comes into being when one has ended one’s daily conflict with another and all the conflicts inside oneself at the very root. Insight is the thing that reveals the illusion of what one is doing or what is going on at any given moment. Insight sets the brain free from all its content, preconceived notions and ideas.