I must talk to you on Skype because when you left I was very bothered by the conversation we had. I have been angry at you and blaming you for my miserable days. Then three nights ago I woke up and heard you talking about misery and saying it was self inflicted. I began to laugh and cry, and the way you spoke has stayed with me. I keep hearing that misery is self inflicted and your stupid laugh. Sorry. So I need to clear something up.

Yes Madame, go ahead!

You said that if we are really giving, then there is no problem. Then you added that giving out of wanting gratitude is self centered.

Yes. Did I say that? Sorry! But I see the truth of what was said.

Then that truth is pissing me off?

Madame, truth is always pure and radical. It has its own movement that can’t be denied.

Well this is very upsetting because I feel I am a giving person and after I heard you speak I was so offended.

Yes I know!

You know that? You meant to offend me?

Madame, when you hear the truth it works its way through all the conditioning, if you let it. It is faster than thought. It puts thinking in its place.

This doesn’t help me!

No, I’m not trying to help you!

Well then why do what you do?

Because I must!

Some answer that is!

I’m not interested in the answer. But I am very interested in your question. It’s a good question!

What question is that? I’m having a hard time finding it.

Your question was: Why are you so miserable about your own giving?

That’s it!

Is it not that if we give and look for gratitude we are not giving at all?
At those times we are not giving because it is the right thing to do, we are giving as extensions of our self, and the pursuit of own self interest.

I guess that is exactly it. I think I always give because I want something back.

Yes. Giving to get isn’t giving, is it?

I see what you are saying but it is hard, and that is why I am so bothered. You have shown me how selfish I am!

No Madame how selfish WE are. This is our conditioning and the brain damage we suffer from.

You’re saying that conditioning damages the brain? I don’t get it.

Madame, how long have you been angry with me and what was said about giving?

Days and I was miserable for days.

Wouldn’t you call that brain damage?

Shock value, yes. I’ve been immersed in this for days and I feel like you imprisoned me but I see that is not true.

That’s it - you see the prison you are caught in - this giving and expecting back. When you give and expect, you are not kind, it is a form of coercion and conformity. There is no love, just self interest!

I feel so much better now. So I should just give.

Giving to get is one thing. Giving out of love is respectful and a movement of freedom and healing. This healing is a process of intelligence and rooted in truth. This movement is perception in action and is without choice. One gives because it is goodness, that goodness heals us of our selfishness. That conditioning of self, that selfishness, destroys the earth and all the relationships on the planet and leads to conformity, conflict and war.

That is so true. The people I try to get to conform to my wishes I have the most conflict with, that’s for sure.

Yes Madame, that is our external psychology that we have being conditioned to and most people are not interested in all this.

I think that is true also, things are getting worse.

Yes, maybe

Thank you.

Coach bri