I see that you have a very different way of dealing with the girls that you coach. I pick my daughter up here, three times a week, and I love to come and watch. You seem to be different than most of the other coaches. You seem to be able to coach more performance out of them. The quality is higher when you are around. I am heavily involved in the business world, and responsible for many managers who report to me daily. I do know what it's like to manage people, but one thing that seems to stick out is your relationship with the girls. They seem to really like you. I have watched this now for about two weeks. I've heard you are Canadian, and that you went home, and I never got a chance to talk with you. Now you are back, and I was wondering if we could have a beer some night and talk. How long are you here for?
I am just heading to China, and I'll be gone for about a week. I will return to Australia, and then I'm off again for another couple weeks to Korea and Japan. I do have a couple of hours now, if you'd like to talk now.
That would be great. My daughter won’t be ready for a few hours, and I can go for a run later. Can we go across the park and sit on a bench there? It's a very nice park.
Sure, I will meet you there.
Drive around to the back of the park. It’s quieter there.
When I arrived, the park was absolutely beautiful. There were several gum trees hanging over a pathway. Two trees seem to invite you with their large drooping branches, offering their shade from the hot sun. The magpies were busy, many of them making lots of noise to let you know that you didn't belong here, that you were the intruder. We sat on this old bench made from wood that I had never seen before. The handsome friend named Jake told me that this bench was of the actual tree that actually occupied this particular spot. It was part of their conservation to use the trees and everything within the park to add to the parks caveats. He then began.
I am under a lot of pressure at work, and I manage many people. I have the task of reporting to three different upper-level managers, and all of them are very different. And at times, I often feel lost and frustrated and feel like quitting my job. I have talked this over with my wife and she feels I can do whatever it is that I feel I must do. She is very supportive, and I am well aware that quitting my job would have a large impact on my family. But the money is great, but most times my headaches are greater. I was wondering watching you, if there is a different way to do things.
Sir, if you can pick up what I'm doing that is different from other coaches, you have a sensitivity that says you are well suited for managing people.
I know I'm good at what I do and I do treat people well in the company. Most of the people I work for like me and they perform well. That is not the pain in the ass.
And what is it sir?
The assholes I work for.
Can you tell me about that?
Reporting to three bosses is hard, one boss is great. He is really smart. He never tells you what to do. He gives me advice when I asked for it. Anyway, he is always interested in me as a person. The second boss is a total lie, so he is always trying to find ways to put me down and point out all my growth areas, and he is such a hard ass.
Sorry, what is a ‘hard ass’ to you sir?
A person who is just negative and has always got to have things done his way. He has the last word, no one questions him and he is beyond learning except, of course, if it's someone higher than him. Then he is a suck up. The third boss is a massive asshole in a different way. He is a Mr. Know-It-All and is always critical of everyone's ideas. You can’t nail him down on anything. He was always complaining about a better way to do things. And when you ask him for his feedback he is always afraid of giving it to you. He never wants to put himself out there and take a risk but he expects everyone to take risks around him and then when they don't go well, you receive his reprimand. He holds onto valuable information, and then things go wrong, even if it could be a quick fix. So he becomes the one that looks like he's the knight in shining armor because he's withheld information from people that's critical to their success. He creates so much dependency. He constantly destroys the economy of people when it comes to product management. He never manages the product, he only manages the people. I believe he cost the company thousands of dollars, but he's invisible to the CEO, because he constantly sets himself up to be the savior and is always playing head games with everybody. Sorry, I know that I'm venting!
No sir, not at all.
So, that is the life at work and I'm sort for talking about all of this with you, even though I never really met you. You just seem like a good person to talk to.
Sir, may I point out something? The culture in your work is so common. It is put together by an external psychology. This psychology gets in the way of quality all the time, and it is what most of the world practices, except for a few like yourself and the first person you report to.
Yet he's a great guy and if it wasn't for him, I would have left my job years ago.
Sir, what this guy is practicing is an internal psychology.
Okay, he's different from others. What do you mean by internal psychology? Can someone learn this internal psychology?
Well, yes, of course, but very few companies are interested in it because it means that they have to really examine not only why they are doing things but how they are doing things.
But if you don't do that, you don't or can't improve.
Yes sir! Internal psychology is the psychology of we, not I. The first manager you talked about does these things and so tell me if I am correct in my assumptions.
All right, this interesting!
First, he's a friendly guy. He's warm, sincere. You always know where you stand with him. You always know what he will do for you and what he won't do for you and you trust him.
Yeah, that's for sure, he asked, but he is also built trust in me. He is okay with me making mistakes as long as I own them and come up with a different way of doing things.
Good. Secondly, he never uses fear of threats, punishments or rewards to control.
Never, as a matter of fact. He is the reason I was promoted. He is always encouraging me to apply for new promotions and new parts of the job.
The third thing: He also works on improving the system and never tries to work on the employees by trying to get them to improve. He helps them get the learning pieces from their mistakes.
That's for sure, you know this guy?
The fourth thing is always asking for best effort, and he's always asking people to evaluate their own work.
Shit that's amazing, it's almost like you know this guy. Last week two employees that work under me came to let me know that they have had a session with that good manager. They decided they were moving in the wrong direction, and what they were doing didn't have enough quality in it, and then they both stayed late and came in on the weekend and will have the project in on time.
Yes sir. The fifth thing is not only does he give his best effort, but he is always doing things that are constructive for everyone and for the organization. He is always throwing the light on what is the learning piece and focused in constant improvement.
That's what I see when I watch you coach. Other coaches want performance, and then they lose it on the athletes. You just talked respectfully, asked questions, they respond, and you can see their performance produces higher quality. I heard another coach talking about you the other day, and he said he loves coming to practice and working with you, because the athletes work so much harder and are so much more coachable. I wondered if you did know this guy because you seem to be cut from the same cloth.
No sorry sir, I don't but this I do know. It takes a very insightful CEO to embrace what it is that I'm doing. It is a business culture renovation, and most people fear change, because it means there is no room for hassles in the organization. When you teach internal psychology to the employees and managers, the assholes eventually get exposed. And they either jump on board by change, or they leave the company. These mean-spirited people hurt and poison and they are highly destructive to accompany in ways that most people can't even imagine. Just as your first boss affects the company in positive ways, you can even imagine people who like people who work harder for people they like, but this is nothing new.
So, you teach this stuff to companies.
Yes sir, but very few CEOs are interested. It means you have to change in the middle, and then in both directions, up and down. So the whole organization changes in both directions.
Why do you say it starts in the middle? I don't understand this.
Sir, in every organization, there is a core of people that do a majority of the work. Most of these people exist within the middle of the organization. All roles and positions in a company that is driven by internal psychology have equal value. It is important to change at the very core. The organization must identify the core people in every department, and that doesn't necessarily mean the managers. Core people are the people that other people get along with and enjoy working for and with. These people have what is most important in any successful organization, and that is character.
Well, how do you define character?
Sir, the word integrity means integrated. Well integrated people are people who are able to give the knowledge and action their proper significance. What I mean by this is that you can have all the brains in the world but if you don't have compassion, sensitivity, and awareness, you're basically an ignorant person.
This is a very different way of dealing with people, but I do see what you mean. I would say what I like most about my boss is that there's no bullshit. The way he talks and the way he speaks is without contradiction. The other two bosses say one thing and do another. There's a feeling with the first manager that he's always got your back and is not afraid to get to know what you think, why you think it and where it leads you. The other two really don't give a damn. It's all about them.
Yes sir, I know. Learning an internal psychology not only makes you a better employee, it makes you a better person, spouse or parent, and anything that brings integration within the individual develops his character.
This has been a very interesting talk. I want to thank you.
